Saturday, May 22, 2010

What is "normal" life anyway?

Hey, hey, hey! So, I know I promised pictures and posts about my many adventures, but have yet to find the time to do so. In the end the pictures are much more fun for me to see than anyone else, though if you'd like I can perhaps show you a few by request :). Or, if you feel like doing a bit of facebook/blog stalking, Erika has posted pictures of all the spots we went on her blog and on facebook, so have at it!

Now perhaps you're thinking "If you can't find time to post pictures, why are you writing on your blog at all?" That is an excellent question! Well, I shouldn't be writing here at all. I have a lot of homework to do....I mean a lot. By June 2nd I have....dun dun dun....
17 papers to write
6 interviews to type up
8 questionnaires to translate and transcribe
300 pages of reading
and 2 interviews with BYU staff.

And it'd be nice to find a job in the process of all this work, so that come June 2nd there will be something left in the job market other than snow cones....though now that I think of it, I know that will be gone too. Snow cones are probably WAY up there on the fun scale. Mmm....I could go for a snow cone right now.
So now you're thinking "WOW, you're still here?! Get to work girl!!" Here's the kicker, I've been sitting here trying to write for awhile now, and the only thing that's coming are conversation-like ramblings or rantings from a girl who's a bit stressed out. That's what brought me here, because I'm thinkin' I need to get a few things out and off my chest before any of the writing is going to happen, or if I ever expect my mind to stop wandering and focus on what I'm reading.
Here's what's on my mind then. Re-entry culture shock!!! I thought I was past it, actually I kind of stopped thinking about it altogether, only to find out that I am still struggling. To everyone it seems as though I never left, and in the past couple of weeks I've kind of felt that way too. And yet I did! I lived in Romania for four months, where I fell in love with nine children, five roommates, co-workers, branch members, and a culture. I was happy there, it was challenging and new, and I learned a lot about myself. Now of course there's nothing wrong with that. I think what I'm really struggling with at the moment is trying to bridge the gap, to be the person everyone at home knows me as, while holding onto all that's new and good that came from the past five months (and much longer than that if you count preparation. Romania has been my focus for a long time now). The predicament pretty much has me stumped! I know I've said this a thousand times, but I'll say it once more. Poor returned missionaries, they must experience all of this times six (24 months vs. my four) but I bet it feels like this times 1,000. I'll figure it out eventually, but here I am with almost three full weeks of being home under my belt, and not much to show for it as far as emotional stability (or homework.....). I think I'm ready to go back now, but at the same time I'm really not.

The other thing that's been on my mind is the fact that I had a big disappointment this morning. I auditioned for Pirates of Penzance at Hale and it was the biggest crash and burn I've ever experienced at an audition. So, looks like no show for me this summer which I'm really bummed about. It's ridiculous actually, when did I become so shy? It's like I was a turtle and I just drew back into my shell the moment I stepped in that room. I had a friend tell me the other day "Oh Camille, I'm sure you'll do awesome. You're Camille Porter!" and thinking back on that now makes me chuckle. I am Camille Porter, just a slightly different one. Still trying to figure her out completely actually. It's been too long since I performed, I'm way out of practice and it showed in every possible way at my audition. Oh well, guess everyone needs to completely bomb an audition once or twice in life! But even so, it was quite the bummer.

On a much happier note, I spent this past week in California watching my niece and nephew! They may just be two of the cutest kids ever... I may be a biased aunt though....but no even then they're pretty much the cutest ever. Ethan is a handful though, he kept me busy and my respect for mothers continues to expand. Anyway, Cindy and I drove there, conquered the LA freeways, and spent a week together the majority of which was without internet (that made the homework situation tough). It was a fun week, though the fun was definitely lessened by the dark cloud of things to do lingering over my head the whole time. I love the beach too, oh boy is that a wonderful place :). And I LOVE Cindy Clawson. That girl is just...oh don't even get me started on all I love about her. We had lots of fun!

And last of all, one of my closest friends was married yesterday!! Liz Larsen is now Liz Sorenson, it's official! After staying up 'til three or so making a wedding video for her, I woke to Liz coming in my room for a chair at 6:15 am for hair and makeup (No, I did not do her hair, I can't even do my own haha). It was an early beginning to a long, but very fun day! Everything turned out great, and it was so fun to see her as a bride and be with her throughout her day. Emotional? Yeah, but like always, I couldn't be happier for them, they are perfect for each other.

Well, I think this brings my random post filled with all that's on my mind to a close. Hope you made it through all that without wanting to throw something or take a bathroom break. "Party in the U.S.A" just came on shuffle...I remember feeling SO excited about really partying in the U.S.A. but man I miss dancin' with the girls in our tiny apartment in Iasi. So strange that only a month or so ago I was there. Wowzers. Ok I'm done, off to see if something other than random thoughts like these will flow out of my fingers :) Let the "All Homework and Nothing Else (except for some job hunting) Week " begin! Oh yeah, and I lose my teenage status that week too, but no time for any focus on that. La revedere!

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